Standing Alone
by katy04
Summary: Pam, the single mother of 12 month old Claire, proves that being alone doesn't mean she's incapable of living the life she's always dreamed of. AU.


_Hey y'all. I'm back. :) Thank you to AG for the idea. It's going to be great being able to write about something I already know. A lot of what Pam will go through in this story is what I go through on a daily basis. I hope you can see what it's like to live your life as a single parent and still be able to accomplish your dreams. Enjoy!_

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ONE

Pam was lying on the very edge of her bed, her arm under her head and her other lying on the stomach of the small child next to her. They were both asleep, their breathing even and in rhythm. The child was lying sideways on the queen-sized bed; her feet jabbed into Pam's stomach and her arms flailed to her sides. There was a peaceful look on her face as her stomach rose and fell as she breathed gently. Pam, on the other hand, had a pained look on her face and even though she was sleeping, she looked extremely uncomfortable. The child moved slightly and Pam woke immediately. Her head darted up and the arm under her head reached for the child. The child was not falling; Pam, however, was. The motion of her head coming up and her arm flying out had tipped her off balance and her body, which was nearly hanging off the bed already, slipped. Quickly Pam put a foot down behind her and even though she did fall to the floor with a "thump," she hadn't hurt herself.

Pam shook her head and contemplated just lying down on the floor and going back to sleep. She lifted her hand above her head and reached for the alarm clock on the bedside table. She tipped it down to see the time and sighed._ I need to be up in less than four minutes anyway. I might as well just get up._ She pushed the alarm button to "off" and stood up from the floor. At the side of the bed she stared at the little girl lying in her bed, and in spite of her annoyance at being "pushed" out of bed yet again, she smiled. _I don't know how I can be mad at her. She's so adorable…when she's sleeping._ Pam laughed at herself, knowing that it was not only when she was sleeping that her daughter was adorable.

Leaning forward, Pam slipped her hands slowly and gently underneath her little girl and picked her up, cradling her to her chest. She stretched and her face, with the cute chubby cheeks, scrunched up and then her body relaxed against her mom's chest. Pam didn't move for a minute, making sure she was really back to sleep, and then tiptoed out of the room, down the hall and into Claire's bedroom. She gently laid her down in her crib, covering her with a soft cream and green blanket, and kissed her on the forehead. Claire's face scrunched up again as she stretched and Pam was sure she would wake up. Instead she rolled over onto her stomach, pulled her knees up into her chest and fell asleep. Pam breathed a heavy sigh of relief and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Quickly Pam walked back down the hall to her bedroom. She grabbed the monitor receiver from her bedside table and walked out of the room again. In the hallway she pulled a towel from the hall closet and she went into the bathroom, pushing the door half-closed behind her. Pam stripped all her clothes from her body, leaving them in heap on top of Claire's clothes from the night before, and turned the hot water on in the shower. She stood there for a second, her hand under the stream of water, waiting for the right temperature and finally slid her body in. The hot water hit her body and she felt all the muscles in her body relax, losing their tension from another night's sleep at the edge of her bed. _It doesn't matter how big of a bed I get, that kid still sleeps with her feet in my stomach and pushes me out._ But, even still, she imagined that getting a king-sized bed would make a difference. She pushed the thought out of her mind, however, because what did a single mom need with a king-sized bed?

Pam washed her hair quickly, ran the blade of her razor over her leg as fast as she could without cutting herself, and then turned the water off in the shower. Before pulling the towel around herself, she listened for Claire on the monitor. When she didn't hear anything, she grabbed the towel and dried off as swiftly as she could. Once she was dry, Pam left the bathroom, carrying the monitor with her, and went back into her room. She tossed the monitor on her bed and started grabbing clothes from her dresser and closet, tossing them on the bed as well. She surveyed the outfit she had laid out on her bed and decided the black pants and purple cardigan would be just fine for another long day. She dropped the towel to the floor and started pulling on her outfit, finishing it off with a pair of black loafers. She looked herself over in the mirror and deeming herself presentable, walked out of her room again.

She checked her watch and saw that she had only an hour left to get Claire up, diaper changed, dressed, and fed before she needed to be out the door. She stood at her door, her hand on the knob, and took a deep breath. Pam opened Claire's door and walked inside, flipping the light switch on as she went. She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a black long-sleeved shirt with the word "Princess" embroidered on the front in white. She closed the drawer and opened another, pulling out the matching bottoms; a black and white zebra-striped short skirt with a pair of black leggings underneath. Pam smiled and grabbed Claire's bright pink converse shoes from the top of the dresser and moved everything over to the changing table. She wasn't being quiet. She knew Claire would be less crabby is she woke herself up, rather than Pam walking over and picking her up. Pam grabbed a diaper from underneath the changing table and set it on top of Claire's clothes, and then turned to look at her little girl.

Claire was stirring slightly and Pam smiled. She walked over to the crib and put her hand on her back. "Hey sweetie," she said gently and Claire moved a little more, burying her face in her blanket. Pam rubbed her back. "It's time to get up." Claire scrunched her body up more, her little bubble butt sticking up in the air. Pam smiled and patted her bottom. "Come on honey, its morning time." Claire whined slightly and rolled over, her eyes parted slightly. She rubbed them sleepily and Pam smiled down at her. "Good morning sunshine." She reached both hands into the crib and picked Claire up into her arms. Claire hugged her body close to Pam's and nuzzled her neck. Pam hugged her back, biting back the tears. _I don't know why I'm so emotional about everything. She does the same thing every morning. And every morning I think I'm going to cry._

Pam patted her back again and kissed Claire on the cheek. "Okay little lady, let's get you ready." She walked over to the changing table and laid the sleepy little girl down. Claire rubbed her eyes more as Pam unzipped her sleeper, pulled out both of her legs and stripped off her diaper. Quickly Pam changed Claire and then pulled her arms out of the pajamas. By the time Pam sat her up to put her shirt on Claire was smiling widely and babbling at her. "Oh I know," Pam said to her animatedly. "You do have a big day today." Claire babbled something back with a smile and then squealed out. Pam laughed and pushed her shoes onto her feet. Once she was finished, she stood Claire up in front of her and smiled. "God you look so cute." She made a mental note that the 12-month clothes she was wearing, however, were starting to get a little snug, and even though Claire was only 12 months, she would need those 18-month clothes soon. She gave her a quick kiss again and picked her up in her arms, carrying her to the bathroom.

"Okay," Pam said, setting her down on the edge of the sink, her feet dangling in it. "Brush your teeth." Pam handed Claire a little spinning toothbrush with Cinderella on it and Claire put it in her mouth, chewing on it. Pam laughed and started to pull Claire's hair up into two small pigtails. Once she was finished, she took the toothbrush from Claire, ran it over her teeth quickly again and then picked her up and scurried into the kitchen.

Claire babbled away in her high chair while Pam put some cheerios and a tippy cup of milk on her tray and then started wandering around packing the diaper bag. Pam talked absently to Claire as she hurried and Claire would babble back. It was a genuinely adorable interaction that any person would find endearing.

Finally, after a good 20 minutes of running around, blowing raspberries, tossed cheerios and a few good laughs, Pam pulled Claire out of her high chair and, putting the diaper bag over her shoulder, they walked out of the apartment. Pam put Claire into her car seat, strapping her in, and then went around to the driver's side and slid in. She started the car, looked back at Claire and took off for "Stay and Play" Day Care.

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_Well, there you have it. I hope you guys liked the first chapter. I'll have more up later. :) Please review and let me know what you think._

_P.S. If you haven't checked it out already, AG and I have a joint story going on called "One Fine Day." You should go read that too. :)_


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